OMG! I just realized the last time I posted anything for public consumption (giggle… consumption. Ahem) was just about two years ago. I think that is much too long, don’t you? Wait, is there anyone still around who would even read this silliness? Hmm, probably not. Still, it is an excellent way to magically throw my voice out there and see what comes back. After all, we all want to be gods, do we not?
OMG! I just realized the last time I posted anything for public consumption (giggle… consumption. Ahem) was just about two years ago. I think that is much too long, don’t you? Wait, is there anyone still around who would even read this silliness? Hmm, probably not. Still, it is an excellent way to magically throw my voice out there and see what comes back. After all, we all want to be gods, do we not?
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So, on Monday I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. She is a wonderful woman and we chat like girlfriends when I am there. Sometimes we even discuss the medical issues at hand when we stop gabbing long enough for one of us to bring up the topic. So, we get to talking about my reactions and health with regard to my current dosage of what I fondly refer to as my ‘girl pills’. This causes me to blurt out, “So, when do I get breasts?” Ha! I bet you didn’t see that line coming. I was on a catamaran in Boston Harbor on my way out to Stellwagen Bank Marine Sanctuary to see whales. It was amazing to see a mother Humpback whale and her calf. The power of witnessing nature in such a setting is pretty incredible to be sure and a guaranteed way to put the impact of what we do into stark relief. We need to learn to live in harmony within the system that is Earth, not in conflict with it. However, this I not what I wanted to write about, though it is a lovey tangent. What I want to talk about relates to the trip out to Stellwagen Bank on what you first feel is a rather large and powerful ship.
In the dark, you wander aimlessly, at least when you dare take a step. It is the crippling fear, no, not fear, terror, that both creates lack of movement and simultaneously, movement out of necessity. I have written in the past about the Void, about the darkness and its value as exploration. Looking into the abyss to find what lives there. To crawl beneath the surface of our own existence to see what lies in the shadow. In a sense, to become whole. I wagered that experimenting by projecting myself into the utter desolation and darkness of space, or finding a lightless room, or oven working with submerging beneath enough water (or water at night) would bring me closer to the sheer terror that would create light out of the darkness. I seem to have projected my focus much to narrow. It is not the only way.
The title of this piece is a little misleading, but, hey, I have to get you in here somehow, right? A good writer needs to hook you. So, I set the hook and then tell you right off it is misleading. How nice of me. Writers write what they know, so I thought I would write about my day yesterday. It was the day that my dad saw me for the first time. I should say, for the first time as a woman.
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Lasciel AnnwynnI am one of those. Yes, that kind. I poke around in the corners and lesser explored paths of life looking for it's mysteries. There is so much magic in the world when you open your perception to it. Look with eyes of wonder. Archives
April 2019
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