OMG! I just realized the last time I posted anything for public consumption (giggle… consumption. Ahem) was just about two years ago. I think that is much too long, don’t you? Wait, is there anyone still around who would even read this silliness? Hmm, probably not. Still, it is an excellent way to magically throw my voice out there and see what comes back. After all, we all want to be gods, do we not?
OMG! I just realized the last time I posted anything for public consumption (giggle… consumption. Ahem) was just about two years ago. I think that is much too long, don’t you? Wait, is there anyone still around who would even read this silliness? Hmm, probably not. Still, it is an excellent way to magically throw my voice out there and see what comes back. After all, we all want to be gods, do we not?
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For those of you who have read my last post and gathered from it the pain I am working through, I want to first express my gratitude for the support, both vocal and quiet, you have honored me with. I also want you to know that even in the course of this obscenely awful period, I can maintain some level of humor. To that end, I offer more from the online dating world. My life is surreal. I really didn’t intend for it to turn the way it has. I wasn’t supposed to be different. I didn’t actually want to be different. Lemming sounded good to me even though I had no idea when I was young what a lemming was. Come to think of it, I really know very little about lemmings other than they are small and furry and apparently have a thing for high diving. I think I am a bit off track here. Right, so, anyway, my future as I saw it way back when was the typical middle class American dream that we are all indoctrinated to as young people. I wanted a good paying job, a house without a fence (I suppose I was divergent there. Uh oh.), and two point five kids, though I wasn’t sure what to do with the half kid. Can you buy an expansion kit that will allow you to make it a whole kid? What if they come in a variety and you just get what you get? If my half is Caucasian and I purchase the expansion kit and I wind up with Asian that could get a bit awkward. Shit, I derailed again. My point being, I expected my life to be very different. Initiation is hilarious! I know, I know, I have a pile of posts were I speak about how hard it is and the trials you go through and the misery that comes with it and how it is all worth the pain in the end. So, you’re thinking, no freaking way am I doing something that sounds about as much fun as participating in a real life Saw event. Yes, please, I’d like to chew off my own arm! I can’t say that the work I have done hasn’t been difficult and that there have been times where I wasn’t sure I’d make it through or even times I wanted to chew through a bottle of prescription medicine. However, there is a lighter side to all of this. Magic, initiation, the trials you put yourself through can be pretty damn funny. Those magicians out there who take their practice without humor, be warned; I am totally going to make fun of it. Wait, no, I don’t me your practice in particular, just the practice of initiation. Humor is an integral part of my practice and for all the shit I put myself through, I need to be able to look back and laugh. So I have this mélange of ideas roaring through my head like a fast flowing river. It woke me up in the dawning light this morning and wouldn’t let go. I am making the leap that my subconscious just couldn’t wait to toss water in my face and yell, “Wakey, wakey!” Mean bitch that she is. At any rate, my racing mind is primarily a result of my insurance company throwing another denial at me for gender reassignment surgery. This is the second time. The kicker is, I have the best insurance plan I have ever had short of when I was in the military. Yet, the plan I have excludes this surgery. In fact, while most of the major healthcare providers proudly exclaim that they do have coverage for this treatment/surgery, what they don’t tell you is that the plans that they sell to companies will exclude this coverage by default unless the company purchasing it specifically removes that exclusion. I’m pretty sure the providers do not advertise that this exclusion is in there (or any other for that matter). That being said, this is not really what I think I want to write about. What I want to write about, or more specifically, think about through writing is the why is it important to me. |
Lasciel AnnwynnI am one of those. Yes, that kind. I poke around in the corners and lesser explored paths of life looking for it's mysteries. There is so much magic in the world when you open your perception to it. Look with eyes of wonder. Archives
April 2019
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