So, I have begun the terrifying process of wandering into the next ring of Hell (Dante’s version). I am not terribly fond of putting my feet on the frozen glass littering the ring, but, my options are stay where I am or move forward. What’s a girl like me going to do but move forward? Stagnation is not an option. Besides, maybe there will be a cute outfit on the other side! The other side of what, you ask? Why, what a lovely question. This ring of Hell I am talking about is the dating ring. Listen to the screaming of all the souls who are being tortured with horrifically written profiles, bots, people taking advantage of desperation, people trying to get to the USA, and other forms of torment! Yes, it’s true. I have finally reached the point where I am willing to stick my skinny ass out there and see if there is anyone that can lift the baggage in my suitcase. I’m pretty sure that I could be an event in the strongman competition.
So, I have begun the terrifying process of wandering into the next ring of Hell (Dante’s version). I am not terribly fond of putting my feet on the frozen glass littering the ring, but, my options are stay where I am or move forward. What’s a girl like me going to do but move forward? Stagnation is not an option. Besides, maybe there will be a cute outfit on the other side! The other side of what, you ask? Why, what a lovely question. This ring of Hell I am talking about is the dating ring. Listen to the screaming of all the souls who are being tortured with horrifically written profiles, bots, people taking advantage of desperation, people trying to get to the USA, and other forms of torment! Yes, it’s true. I have finally reached the point where I am willing to stick my skinny ass out there and see if there is anyone that can lift the baggage in my suitcase. I’m pretty sure that I could be an event in the strongman competition.
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I seem to spend a lot of time not being anybody in particular. Sometimes I enjoy this or at least find it intellectually interesting. Most of the time it is uncomfortable and lonely. My issue is that I thought I knew myself pretty well. I have always been introspective and interested in the capabilities of the mind to hide itself from, well, me. I have always felt parts of my makeup have been missing, but I had always felt like I was, I guess, complete. Then, after years of probing, I figure out I was primarily living a constructed lie and the real me lay beneath layers of psychological protection that I was unaware I had built. It is some pretty impressive stuff, if I do say so myself. Too bad there isn’t a market for my mad skills! So, on Monday I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. She is a wonderful woman and we chat like girlfriends when I am there. Sometimes we even discuss the medical issues at hand when we stop gabbing long enough for one of us to bring up the topic. So, we get to talking about my reactions and health with regard to my current dosage of what I fondly refer to as my ‘girl pills’. This causes me to blurt out, “So, when do I get breasts?” Ha! I bet you didn’t see that line coming. Well, I really needed to get this done. I meant to put in my review of Carter and Lovecraft for weeks now, but circumstances and procrastination make for terrible bedfellows when you want to get things done. Well, here is my attempt at putting some words to paper, so to speak. I need to preface this with the fact that I am a fan of this author so, while I shall attempt to be as unbiased as possible, I cannot guarantee that there won’t be times when I skew a bit more than I ought. So, with that in mind, off we go. You know, there are times when I think about fate and just want to grab her panties and give her a wedgie from hell. It’s like that line from Lethal Weapon, “If you’re going to fuck me, kiss me first.” I’m not saying I have a terrible life or that I need sympathy back rubs (though I have this wicked knot around my left shoulder blade, so if your free…), but damn, a girl can take only so much. I just bristle at the fact that I’m on this path and the route ahead is pretty much fixed and I hate it. I’m still in that place where I need to let go and let my ex move on with her life. That is to say, finding a companion. |
Lasciel AnnwynnI am one of those. Yes, that kind. I poke around in the corners and lesser explored paths of life looking for it's mysteries. There is so much magic in the world when you open your perception to it. Look with eyes of wonder. Archives
April 2019
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