So, here I am, a human in transition with all sorts of fun medical and administrative issues that will take me the next few years, at least, to work through. Well, fate being particularly obnoxious and who has a bad sense of humor as well as timing, decides to hit me with breathing issues. For some reason, without exerting myself much at all, I am occasionally unable to catch my breath. It seems like no oxygen is getting into my system at all. My heart does not race and it doesn’t feel like my airways are constricted, I simply cannot get air. So, I sit there, since I can’t stand, gulping air and looking very put out and ridiculous.
0 Comments
Every year it seem like I am spending a lot of time watching and saving frogs that decide that my pool would make a rather nice home. Now I realize these are not the most rational animals, no wait, not rational at all. What I meant is, you would think instinct would drive them away from said Venus Flytrap. However, the lure of crystal clear water and surrounding lounge furniture appeals far too much to their sense of luxurious living, so, in they go. Now, given enough time, soaking up that wonderful drug cocktail of algaecide, chlorine, mineral remover, and a PH that is not amphibian friendly makes them quite out of it and they have no idea why. In their drugged stupor, they still keep on soaking up the high lifestyle until, one day, they expire in the skimmer basket.
The process of transitioning is really difficult to explain to someone who is not suffering from gender dysphoria. The notion of cognitive dissonance can be explained to a degree and ways can be found to create that experience for another person, but even then it is not quite the same. I sat with a co-worker of mine yesterday and we were talking about me and this process. He was just marveling at the amount of strength it took (as he put it) to even attempt to go through this. I do not think I am all that, but he thought about it and then put his thoughts out there. He said, just the fact that I recognized that there was a problem and then had to identify and then accept it. He couldn’t imagine the suffering I went through just to come to grips and accept that this was what I had to do, especially in the face of having a family and career and being the age that I am. He thought, how hard was that to do and then, after that you have to go through the actual process of transitioning in a world that is still really not comfortable nor set up to be helpful in that process. He just sat there amazed.
|
Lasciel AnnwynnI am one of those. Yes, that kind. I poke around in the corners and lesser explored paths of life looking for it's mysteries. There is so much magic in the world when you open your perception to it. Look with eyes of wonder. Archives
April 2019
Categories
All
|