So, part of me thinks that this whole transition process should be old hat by now. To some extent, it is. After all, I have had a lot of experiences and know many things. I know that the road is going to be difficult. I know that I am going to run into situations that I had imagined in my mind, but that the experience will not be what I was expecting. I am going to assume dealing with… whatever, is going to be hard and it won’t be. I will learn that the opposite of that is also true. I know that I will attempt to wedge myself into a size four and when that fails, I will go out and find some tools that will bend the laws of reality and make it happen. I know that I know nothing, much like I know that our foster dog will bark like a lunatic causing the megaphone he swallowed as a puppy to activate and make my ears bleed every time the garage door goes off. It is the knowing that I don’t know that makes this process so hard.
So, part of me thinks that this whole transition process should be old hat by now. To some extent, it is. After all, I have had a lot of experiences and know many things. I know that the road is going to be difficult. I know that I am going to run into situations that I had imagined in my mind, but that the experience will not be what I was expecting. I am going to assume dealing with… whatever, is going to be hard and it won’t be. I will learn that the opposite of that is also true. I know that I will attempt to wedge myself into a size four and when that fails, I will go out and find some tools that will bend the laws of reality and make it happen. I know that I know nothing, much like I know that our foster dog will bark like a lunatic causing the megaphone he swallowed as a puppy to activate and make my ears bleed every time the garage door goes off. It is the knowing that I don’t know that makes this process so hard.
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Every year it seem like I am spending a lot of time watching and saving frogs that decide that my pool would make a rather nice home. Now I realize these are not the most rational animals, no wait, not rational at all. What I meant is, you would think instinct would drive them away from said Venus Flytrap. However, the lure of crystal clear water and surrounding lounge furniture appeals far too much to their sense of luxurious living, so, in they go. Now, given enough time, soaking up that wonderful drug cocktail of algaecide, chlorine, mineral remover, and a PH that is not amphibian friendly makes them quite out of it and they have no idea why. In their drugged stupor, they still keep on soaking up the high lifestyle until, one day, they expire in the skimmer basket.
Life is a matter of perspective. No, really, it is. We make of it what we think and feel. The same situation can be perceived many different ways by different people. That same situation can be perceived many different ways by the same person. Depending upon that individual’s disposition at the time of any given event, it can be viewed apathetically, with joy, or negatively. Even given a person’s objective reaction (let’s say something happened and they were bothered by the outcome) at a discrete point in time can be viewed in hindsight quite differently. The mind has a way of coloring things after the fact. I mention all this because, once again, I am drawn back to the contemplation of labels. Of the need for people to compartmentalize, well, everything.
I spend an awful lot of time wondering if I get anything right. I am not even really sure what I mean by getting something right. What defines right? Is there really any such thing as right? When I am making any choice, how do I determine what is right? This is obviously an individual answer. I sit here, in my home office, making a choice right now. I am choosing to think about this idea rather than doing work for my company. Is that right? Is the greater or individual good served best by this choice I have made?
There are dangers to the contemplation of emptiness. I am not talking about the emptiness of my tea mug right now, which clearly needs to be filled with more Earle Grey (be right back). Ah, now that’s better. Anyway, where was I? Oh, so emptiness is an interesting concept to explore. It is an instigator of Vastness. It also has the benefit of being something you can set up to experience yourself.
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Lasciel AnnwynnI am one of those. Yes, that kind. I poke around in the corners and lesser explored paths of life looking for it's mysteries. There is so much magic in the world when you open your perception to it. Look with eyes of wonder. Archives
April 2019
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