I was on a catamaran in Boston Harbor on my way out to Stellwagen Bank Marine Sanctuary to see whales. It was amazing to see a mother Humpback whale and her calf. The power of witnessing nature in such a setting is pretty incredible to be sure and a guaranteed way to put the impact of what we do into stark relief. We need to learn to live in harmony within the system that is Earth, not in conflict with it. However, this I not what I wanted to write about, though it is a lovey tangent. What I want to talk about relates to the trip out to Stellwagen Bank on what you first feel is a rather large and powerful ship.
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In the dark, you wander aimlessly, at least when you dare take a step. It is the crippling fear, no, not fear, terror, that both creates lack of movement and simultaneously, movement out of necessity. I have written in the past about the Void, about the darkness and its value as exploration. Looking into the abyss to find what lives there. To crawl beneath the surface of our own existence to see what lies in the shadow. In a sense, to become whole. I wagered that experimenting by projecting myself into the utter desolation and darkness of space, or finding a lightless room, or oven working with submerging beneath enough water (or water at night) would bring me closer to the sheer terror that would create light out of the darkness. I seem to have projected my focus much to narrow. It is not the only way.
Letting go is such an incredible task. It is unpleasant in a way that creates physical consequences. If you are not a therapist, you don’t like to talk about it. You don’t think about it. It is like the contemplation of death. You don’t do it because there are no answers, no way to predict the unknown even a smidge. All you know is that it must be faced, but until that moment, you sit there in denial. If you ignore it, it will stay at bay and you can live your life. But can you? Can you really ignore it when you can feel the black dog staring at you all the while? I think not.
There are dangers to the contemplation of emptiness. I am not talking about the emptiness of my tea mug right now, which clearly needs to be filled with more Earle Grey (be right back). Ah, now that’s better. Anyway, where was I? Oh, so emptiness is an interesting concept to explore. It is an instigator of Vastness. It also has the benefit of being something you can set up to experience yourself.
Ah, the inspired piece of writing. I do so love when I am inundated with gorgeous pieces of writing that have me stewing in my thoughts, raging in my dreams, and trying to find the intersections between the concepts I currently hold and the notions put forth that make sense and resonate. What’s more challenging are those thoughts that directly stand in opposition to thoughts I presently hold to be true. This is where the real value stands. Taking your own assumptions and weighing their merits and seeing if they fall before the newly considered notion. So, I owe a debt of gratitude to Antti and Lloyd. For those who are interested in the concept of Vastness, of which I have written in the past, I am going back to it. It is a rather intriguing topic that I could consider indefinitely. It is a horrifying notion. Read any Lovecraft story revolving around the Old Ones, watch early Hellraiser films or perhaps grab some popcorn and have a viewing of Event Horizon. On second thought, you might want to skip the eats.
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Lasciel AnnwynnI am one of those. Yes, that kind. I poke around in the corners and lesser explored paths of life looking for it's mysteries. There is so much magic in the world when you open your perception to it. Look with eyes of wonder. Archives
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