It is interesting to observe my own internal reaction to the pointlessness of it all. The indifference of the universe and the fragility of life. For most of us, in a few hundred years we will long be forgotten. All that we strove for; the efforts we made in trying to make a difference; our hopes and dreams; all of it will be lost in the apathy of the universe and the ravages of time. The human mind doesn’t like to contemplate such things. You will notice as you dwell on these singular thoughts your mind nagging to pull you back to reading Facebook, staring at your phone, anything but the expanse of the cosmos, the insignificance of your very existence. The horror of a life drained of magic. Escapism is a bland solution and I cannot decide if that is a worse fate than standing in front of indifferent Tiamat as she shatters my ideas of what is meaningful.
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I haven’t written anything to this blog in a long time. You know how it is, the holiday’s hit, you’re out doing all these last minute tasks, and you come out to the world as a transgender female. Well, world being relative to my sphere of the world. You know, stuff like that. Seriously, a large part of the reason for the silence is so much has happened and I have had barely any time to really process it. In my infinite wisdom to time my general coming out to coincide with the holiday season and a calculated attempt to capitalize on general goodwill, I didn’t take into account how difficult it would be to manage what was happening and also keep up with the additional load of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. I will eventually work back to all that, perhaps. I don’t know. What is most immediately on my mind is fear.
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Lasciel AnnwynnI am one of those. Yes, that kind. I poke around in the corners and lesser explored paths of life looking for it's mysteries. There is so much magic in the world when you open your perception to it. Look with eyes of wonder. Archives
April 2019
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